Why is it that after 2 1/2 years I still feel for the one I can't have? I've never once captured your eyes, let alone your heart; though, you still have the fragmented pieces of my own. You, the one whom broke my heart. You, the one whom I should despise and never think of again, but I do anyway. You, the one who could never love the way I have loved you. You, who's laugh could brighten the world. You, who's sorrow could crush the moon. I don't hate you. I never could. Though, to be honest, I've tried...many times. However, the smile that's not meant for me ensnares my heart. That same heart still aches today. In the beginning it would be so much I would collapse and wish that it would never continue to beat, for life without you was worthless. Tears would flow from my eyes as waterfalls, my fingers wishing to give my heart relief from it's aching in my chest, scratching in vein. Now, the pain is that of a throbbing headache, coming and going. Though I usually do not dream, when I do I wish it to end because I know that you are not real. Oh you, who has shattered my soul, how I long to touch your face, feel you under my fingertips, feel you in these arms once more. But you've long but faded away. I wasn't enough to please you. Your eyes were fixated on another beautiful butterfly. I will never understand how I can be "practically perfect" but still not be what is wanted. I don't want to feel for you anymore. All you have ever brought me is heartache and sadness. My loneliness consumed me as you fought for another, and I was miserable with you. But, God, I've never loved anyone as much as I've loved you. I hope that one day I can rid myself of this pointless yearning because I can't stand it. I love you.... still...it pains me to say that, however, it's true. I wish I could be with you. But butterflies are more beautiful than I. Will it all end when I kiss this world goodbye?
